The Face of Chess Evil

Hello Loyal Ones,

My preparations are going splendidly! I managed to beat a computer on a medium setting twice last night!!

I thought you might like to see a picture of my Chess Nemesis so that if you should happen to pass him in the street, see him kicking a small puppy, or threatening senior citizens with a broken bottle - you can tell him his days of chess dominance are numbered and that I am onto his fianchetto opening!

Chess Nemesis

Be on the lookout for Chess Nemesis. He is likely to be found in the following places....

• Making unusual wagers in Victorian gentlemen's clubs
• Laughing menacingly while making a getaway in a hot air balloon
• Demolishing orphanages
• Masturbating in churches

But fear not - I, The Mighty and Benevolent Chris, shall be victorious and rid the world of this evil chess playing butt monkey!

Incidentally - I completely own him at squash!

Remain viligilant,
The Mighty and Benevolent Chris

Preparation Begins....

Hello Again,

I am starting to feel much better thank you. Tonsils are beginning to return to a reasonable size and my temperature is sensible again. Hooray for penicillin!

Anyway - I have been talking about some of the things I am going to do when I take over the world, but i haven't done anything about actually taking over yet, so I thought I had better make a start.

I figured that I am going to need some sort of plan and it's going to need to be a good one. So in order to become a tactical genius I have decided to learn how to play chess!

When I say learn - I already know how to play (as in how the pieces move etc) - but I mean how to play well, because by my own admission I am rubbish at chess! This may come as a bit of a surprise to many who know me as I am a bit of a brainiac in many areas but chess never been my game of choice. I think it's because I am not patient enough and tend to go for an all out "death or glory" assault. I make silly mistakes because I am only looking at my next move rather than the bigger picture. I am easily bored too!

I realise however, that if I am to conquer the world I will need to learn these qualities. To that end I have bought a book.....


....which I have started already and I am going to start practicing. If I can get good at chess then I guess it will be a step in the right direction of total and utter domination of the planet Earth!

I am please to announce that I have already found myself a "Chess Nemesis"! We played today and I got completely spanked 4-0 (remember, I did say I was rubbish!), although I put up a decent fight in the last game. Saying that, the third game lasted about 8 moves until I was in checkmate - mostly because I got mixed up between which was the king and which was the queen. Yes I really am that bad!

I shall be using my results against my Chess Nemesis to gauge how well I am doing in my training and to see if I am improving. Watch this space!!!

Chess Nemesis has a blog too it's www.billionite.blogspot.com. Feel free to send him abuse and tell him how the Mighty and Benevolent Chris is going to kick his ass soon! Then it's Kasparov's turn!

Toodles,
Future Chess Grandmaster Chris