Ok - the bleeding hearts out there are gonna hate this (probably) but there you go - I'm the boss and I'm gonna be making the rules!
GLOBAL DECREE #9
No more animal testing - for anything!
As you have probably figured out already, I am something of an animal lover. I hate the thought of animals suffering for any reason, but especially for the sake of "research". But I am also something of a scientist, and understand the need for testing of new medicines and drugs etc etc.
"Then what is the solution oh mighty future leader of the world?" I hear you cry!
Well why should we make these poor innocent animals suffer when we have prisons full of rapists, murderers, and paedophiles? So when I take over, they will be taking over the testing duties.
Harsh? Yes it probably is. But then again how is this for a deal? Don't murder, rape or be a paedophile and then I won't send you to be tortured in the name of science. Fair enough? I think it is a fair deal.
Of course there will be safeguards to make sure that only the most deserving go for testing. People will of course need to be proved guilty beyond all doubt etc and in certain circumstances people may not be sent - the person who kills their abuser after years of abuse for example.
So apart from a very few exceptions that is going to be the new rule - and Amnesty International can go screw themselves in this instance. Normally I am a great admirer of their work, but as far as I am concerned, people forfeit their human rights when they commit these types of crimes!
I'm sorry if I come across as the bad guy this time, but there is some complete scumbags in this wonderful world of ours and they need putting straight - and we don't need to experiment on innocent animals either.
Pip pip,
Chris the Punisher
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