Feeling Guilty

Maybe I was a little harsh on Jade Goody. I suppose it's not her fault, it's the fault of society for making her a celebrity.

She is still annoying though!

The Mighty and Benevolent Chris.

Outlaws!

Hello my Lovely Lovelies!

How have you all been? I know I know, it has been a while again, but I am a very busy person you know!

Now then - down to business......

The following people exceed the Irration Threshold of The Mighty and Benevolent Chris, and are therefore now illegal.

Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen

Crime: Being pretentious, defacing peoples houses, excessive use of MDF, being a dandy over 100 years after it was even mildy acceptable.
Punishment: Mr Llewelyn-Bowen is henceforth banned from using any of the following items;

• MDF
• Frills or ruffs
• Winkle-Pickers
• Oversized cuffs, collars, ties, or lapels

In addition, Mr Llewelyn-Bowen is to have his bedroom walls covered in woodchip and painted magnolia.

And while we're at it - get a haircut you silly man!

Anthea Turner

Crime: Just being generally irritating and a bit too goody two-shoes. Having a really false smile. Having her wedding sponsored by a chocolate bar and OK! magazine (the biggest sell-out ever, and I quote.... - "Anthea Turner and Grant Bovey: exclusive OK! wedding photograph, enjoying Cadbury's new Snowflake. For the complete wedding coverage and a free Cadburys Snowflake, buy OK! magazine this weekend. OK! First for celebrity news.").
Punishment: Ms Turner shall eat two Cadbury's Snowflakes for breakfast EVERY morning for the rest of her life. I think if you endorse a product you should stand by them. After breakfast she must look herself in the mirror and read aloud from an extensive list of swear words I will provide for her.

Jade Goody

Crime: My god! I don't even know where to begin! Ms Goody is the perfect example of why I need to take over this world and knock some sense into it. What kind of society do we live in where talentless imbeciles such as Ms Goody are reverred as celebrities??? I am not a fan of Big Brother (in fact I HATE Big Brother, but thats a different subject), but her recent appearance really gave her the opportunity to show her true colours - that of a bully and a racist. Ok, so it could be argued that the racism was due to ignorance or downright stupidity, but the bullying was there for all to see. She is just not a pleasant person.
Punishment: She just needs to shut up and go away. She can never be on TV or in the media of any form ever again. I just don't want to be bothered by her. She also has to spend two days a week wearing a t-shirt saying "I am a fat, ugly, moron". I have nothing against fat people, ugly people, or morons - but I do hate bullies, so let's see how she feels being on the other end.

And just for good measure - here is another picture of the obnoxious tart!! Try not to vomit...


Right that's all for now. Jade Goody has put me in a foul mood! I think anyone who likes or aspires to be like Jade Goody need to be punished as well. All these celebrity obsessed people really do need to get a life!

More soon my futures Citizens,
The Mighty and Benevolent Chris